The Good Shepherd

Decide something. Either I am right or I am wrong about Allen and his sleazy advertisers. There is no alternative. If I'm wrong then I should apologize to Allen and his sponsors and take back the things I've said. If I am RIGHT though, then Allen owes his audience an apology.
Surely among the hundreds who have visited this blog in the past couple weeks, there must be some people who think I am wrong. If that is so please show how I am mistaken (or lying or crazy) and I will do the right thing and apologize. But if I'm right then you should join me in calling on Allen to apologize to his listeners and ending his relationships with these people.

The good shepherd does not take money to tell lies.

But first a word from our scammer

Sorry it's taken me so long to post. I got back in town about a week ago but apparently brought a little parting gift (Influenza A) back with me from Manhattan.

This isn't THE major problem I alluded to in my previous post, however it is a close second, and I don't feel like it can wait any longer. Erik skeptics: yes, I am still going to reveal an extremely troubling and scandalous aspect of Allen's organization but first I need to say this. Everything else will be revealed in the fullness of time.

Allen: it's time to stop scamming your listeners. Your advertisers are sleaze. You greedily accept their money, even do personal endorsements for them, and then you have the gall to lecture your audience about morality. This isn't about you and me, or God vs. Reason...Allen this is about right versus wrong.

I looked at just a few of your sponsors and this is what I find:

Incomeathome.com

YOU said about these people:

"Discover a simple way to earn money - we're talking "quit your nowhere job and work from home" type of money. Connected to a multi-billon dollar company and endorsed by talk radio hosts around the country, either full or part time...if you're ready to make a change and start earning money from home, visit Income At Home today"

Really, Allen? A get-rich-at-home scheme? Would you recommend this to a friend or family member? No. You would not. Because it's a total rip-off.

http://www.reviewopedia.com/incomeathome.com.htm


Next I look at Midas Resources. Nothing shady sounding there, right?

Allen said:

"Survive the turbulent economy with an important book on savings and taxes from Ted Anderson, plus get your free early 1900's collectible silver dollar too! Call now to learn more."

Feel free to google "Midas resources" and you will find more. (And google helpfully suggests "Midas Resources scam" and "Midas Resources ripoff"). Here are just a couple reviews of Midas resources:

http://cherylkicksass.blogspot.com/2009/09/warning-midas-resources-precious-metals.html

http://www.yelp.com/biz/midas-resources-burnsville

Oh and it gets better. It turns out that Midas Resources/Ted Anderson are the same folks that own 9/11 truther Alex Jones's radio network. Nice to see you equally yoked, Allen.

How about our next sponsor: tronixcountry.com?

They will sell you a $400 laptop for only $1600.

Find out more about them here.

I didn't have time to look into all the sponsors, but feel free to check them out for yourself.

Now I want to talk to Allen.

Allen: you have got to stop this. Stop doing business with these scam artists. You know that I have never tried to hide the fact that I am a horrible, degenerate, immoral louse. And yet I would NEVER stoop to this kind of dirty business. My crimes and misdemeanors hurt only myself and the people who love me. YOU are preying on innocent people, people who are desperate, who have been hurt by this economy and need help. And you come to them as a pastor, a friend, someone they can trust who has a good deal for them. Then these scam artists shake them down for the last little bit of money that they have. I never thought you would stoop low enough to push a work-from-home scheme. It's really quite disappointing.

Here are some legitimate work at home opportunities, endorsed by Clark Howard.

http://clarkhoward.com/topics/workathome_help.html

Stay Tuned

I have to go out of town for a few days. When I get back I am going to call on Allen to make some serious changes to his organization. Some facts have come to light that are very troubling to me. I've been sitting on this for some time, not sure what to do. I don't want to engage in the 'gotcha'-type of political bloodsport; I'd much rather compete in the marketplace of ideas. However this matter is so egregious I can not be silent. I'm not fuckin around here, folks.

See You 'N Tahiti x2

After Allen's latest self-aggrandizing post about the success of his show I noted the following comment:

We are counting down to liftoff with you, Allen. Congratulations!

Southern Catholic Chicks "A" and "B"

I followed the link back to this page.

You'll note the predictable drivel from a couple of privileged white upper-middle-class dingbats. They are too cowardly to reveal their actual identities, so they very creatively call themselves "A" and "B."*

What pissed me off though, other than their kissing Allen's ass, was this quote on their "About" page: "Their primary vocations are wife and mother in their respective families."

So I did what you might expect- I posted a comment on Allen's blog calling them a waste of protoplasm and asking them if "vagina" and "uterus" were actual occupations. This was swiftly deleted by Allen's web admin my good friend and spirit-brother Andy. I also queried them about this on THEIR blog but they were too cowardly to answer me.
Here is a picture of the "chicks."

Can you pretty much tell all you need to know about these two?

UPDATE- no word from the "chicks" and they still haven't posted my comment. Probably too busy drinking Mojitos and Facebooking. Hey girls, why not spend less time on the internet and more time genuflecting to your husbands. The world will be a better place.

*Do you detect hypocrisy here? I don't advertise my picture and identity because I have been threatened with violence on more than one occasion.

Typical email from one of his fans

I find Allen Hunt's show very refreshing and his teachings are from the Bible and from Tradition. Those comments made by people who do not know the Catholic Faith, a Faith that comes to us from the apostles is a 2,000 year old Church and will with the promise of Her Founder Jesus Christ will endure until the end of time. Those who rile against the Church will do well to examine their beliefs according to the Bible and to Tradition and not by prejustice.

Why Erik is a better Christian than Allen

• All are welcome in Erik's world. I don't care who or what you are, where you've been, what you've done. I accept everyone. All sins are forgiven. You can't come for sleepovers if you are an axe-murderer or something, but other than that, all are welcome. Allen makes his living by the sword of judgment. He and his Catholic brethren are apologists for Moloch, the heavy judger of men, but as for me, I'm just a poor sinner. You are welcome here.
  
  
• Speaking of sin- how is Allen an expert on sin when he lives such a squeaky clean lifestyle? Now ME, I'm an expert. I'm a sinner. I've done (or contemplated doing) damn near everything. "Sin boldly," said Martin Luther. Allen and his pious brethren have forgotten our sinfulness is what makes us human. One can not be saved unless one is a sinner. St. Paul was wrong: continue in sin that grace may abound.
  

• I don't need anything from you. Radio Allen needs sponsors in the same way as Preacher Allen needed converts. But Preacher Erik asks nothing from you. I'm not selling anything. I don't need the mega-faithful or seedy sponsors. It's just you and me, kids.
  
  
• I say what I want: fuck the Sanhedrin. Allen is beholden to advertisers, to his ignorant Christian listeners, and even to the Roman Catholic Church. The beliefs he has to swear to as part of his faith are a litany of absurdities and contradictions. Example: if you use birth control, you will go to hell; if you are not Catholic, you will go to hell; if you die and have not had a priest forgive your sins, you will go to hell. These are REAL beliefs that he HAS to hold or the church will kick him out. Don't you think it influences what he says on the radio? Of course it does. He can only say what is allowed. Meanwhile I can say anything that I find to be true. Or just worth saying. Watch: Hey Pope Benedict, go fuck yourself, you scary piece of shit.
  
  
• I offer holy communion to EVERYONE right now. Just go outside and look at the sky. Or look in the mirror. Or sit down somewhere quiet and think about life and death.
  
  
• I offer salvation to all. Here is what you must do: Be born, live, suffer, break the rules, drink, dance, heal, hang out with whores, tell the religious authorities to go to hell, suffer, die to what you were yesterday, go to hell, be broken open, resurrect, say blessings. Find your father.
  

Wanted: Death Buddy

I guess I am a little older than the generation that popularized the concept of a Fuck Buddy. I think it's a fine idea, having someone with whom there is mutual understanding that you are there to gratify each other's physical needs, and that's all. Could probably be the answer to 9/10s of the world's problems. Men obviously get the better end of this deal; however as long there are still misguided women with intimacy issues, there will be Fuck Buddies available. Speaking for us guys I can't tell you how reassuring it is to know that you can a piece of ass whenever you want. That's why half of guys get married, only to find out it's not the 24-hour all-fantasy fulfilling fuck train they signed on for. A fuck buddy, though. Perfectamundo, as Fonzy would say. If Catholics really want to prevent divorce they should encourage the proliferation of fuck buddies, and not only for priests this time.

It may surprise you to know that a fuck buddy is not what I am after. As much as I think of the FB deal, it seems to lack something. There is some sadness that attends the relationship, a suspicion about the basis of desire I suppose, and how quickly the deal would be off if one or the other partner became suddenly decrepit. Who would be there if my bone marrow suddenly dedided to go rogue, and started vomiting leukemic cells into my bloodstream? Would a fuck buddy tend to me as I faded in some hospital room, worn down to a blood-oozing skeleton by wave after wave of chemo? Doubtful.

It's true that my family and friends would be there, but that's just the problem. I spend half my time evading family and friends. If I was stuck in some deathbed I wouldn't have that option. Plus everyone wants something from the dying. Children are fearful, guilty even, wanting you not to die; friends require you allow them to cheer you up; family want forgivenes or blessing or to get you to change your will; clergy want you to confess or convert; spouses want deathbed love proclamations..."I always loved you best, darling....gasp...I see a white light...cough...there's my dead uncle Norquist...sputter, cough ....goodbye dearly beloved..."

Fuck THAT.

What I want is an attractive gal, 18-44, under 250 pounds, to be with me if I am ever dying. This is the deal we could make: if either of us is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has a short time to go, the other would drop everything and come hang out. She wouldn't have to do anything special. I am not trying to combine the death-fuck buddy into some weird hybrid (although you are free to improvise if you want to make this deal on your own). I am thinking she would just be there, mostly. She would laugh a lot and we would tell jokes and make fun of people. She would listen to my fears without judgment and without an agenda. As I began to go she would sing songs and maybe burn some sage. At the end she would touch me, wet my lips, and bless my organs as they failed. I would make my confessions to her and be absolved.

Maybe in reality it wouldn't work out so well. Or maybe I will just die in a car wreck and avoid the maudlin little scene above. But wouldn't it be nice to know that no matter what you wouldn't die alone?

The death buddy, brought to you by Erik in Athens. I hope it catches on.

BTW: Allen Hunt Show still sucks.